My name is, Margaret, and I have walked with the Lord Jesus Christ these past 10 years. Every day of fellowship with Him grows sweeter. Let me tell you a little about my life.
I was born the eldest in a family of seven children to very devout Catholic parents who are hard-working farmers and we grew up with everything we needed but life presented me with many hard knocks as I seemed to always be the brunt of my class mates’ jokes or ridicule. Playground time at school for me was horrible and things did not improve when I went to boarding school, where even the teachers joined in on the ridicule. It seemed impossible to communicate my unhappiness to anyone and I found it much easier to retract in to a world of my own where I did not talk or open my life to anyone. It was almost impossible for me to join in on conversation or be a part of a group of people. Meeting new people literally scared the life out of me!
In my solo world, I was attracted to the arts and threw myself in to creative work that I could accomplish on my own. I went to College and studied a Fine Arts course, however, nothing satisfied the deep longing in my heart to be free from myself. I became very fascinated with “bio-energy” (focusing on spiritual and physical energies from the Earth) and along with that New Age philosophy came the worship of Angels. At this time my bedroom was like a shrine unto Angels—I was that taken with them. In spite of my new found love for angels, I spent much time in torment mentally and after many, many hours of counselling I was put on medication to help me, but actually it did not ‘help’ me much at all, but rather seemed to make life a blur.
Then one day a friend in College invited me to a Christian meeting and I began to be very drawn toward seeking the real, living God. The meetings that I went to at first were only monthly meetings and looking back now I can see much of what happened in those meetings was not biblical, but they were used to draw me to Christ. When through another friend, I heard that there was a church that met 3 times a week and believed the same sort of thing, which was that I could have a relationship with God because of Jesus’ blood, I agreed to go and see what it was like. There I found sound, Biblical teaching and I began to read the Bible for the first time in my life with some sort of understanding. I saw what a wretch I was and how much I needed a Saviour. I bowed my knee and asked Jesus to be Lord of my life.
At a point in time, I felt I should come off the medication and rather trust the Lord to give me the mind of Christ. This I did and although it was a faith-stretching time for me, I did not suffer severe side effects. I have tried all that the world or the State has to offer in terms of mental illness recuperation but I know this for certain that all the psychological counselling they offered only ever made me to weep exhausting tears of agony whereas the tears of repentance brought life and relief. II Corinthians 7:10 “For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” I feel so blessed to have the family in Christ that I have and I am so satisfied to be doing what I am doing in serving the body of Christ. There is more for me yet but I am ‘pressing on the upward way.’